Upon watching the news or reading a few articles online, one may assume that women are united. And maybe we are united in some ways. I don’t want to discredit that. But I think when spending a day in our hearts or a night in our minds, an outsider would conclude that on an interpersonal level women are more divided and lonely than ever before. There is a growing gulf between women as a result of The Knot of jealousy, comparison, and shame.
“I hate how jealousy distances me from other people- including people I love.”
I recently read this statement from a friend. In fact, I often have the very same thought. And I know many of you reading this grapple with the same reality. Jealousy is isolating. That is why I’ve become so passionate about fighting against this struggle: It’s dividing us and we all know it.
Why is unity so important anyways? Humans were designed to be in community. We were created to be there for one another during hard times and to celebrate with one another in good times. But our unity isn’t just for us; it’s meant to be a guiding light for other lost people in the world. In the Bible, Jesus says that people in the world will know God’s love by our love for one another (John 13:35). Our unity and love for one another is our greatest testimony of hope to a divided, hurting world. It’s kind of a big deal!
But (You knew a “but” was coming didn’t you?) the enemy, Satan the devil, hates our unity. He doesn’t want the world to see your testimony of hope. He doesn’t even want you to see hope. He desperately wants us to be divided, so he takes advantage of our weak spots and insecurities. He uses our struggles with comparison, jealousy, and shame, and weaves them tighter around us, suffocating you and me into isolation and bitterness against one another.
- When you’re so jealous of a girl that you are constantly belittling her (either by gossip or in your own mind)…that’s the enemy’s work.
- When you’re lying in bed ashamed, comparing yourself to the other women in your life, convinced you’re the only one who struggles with comparison…there he is again.
- When a friendship ends because of jealousy…the enemy rejoices.
This may all seem a little Negative Nancy. It’s the hard ugly truth. But talking about this is not meant to make you feel defeated. On the contrary, it’s intended to stir up determination and hope within you. The best army knows the enemy’s plans before they hit. And if you didn’t know the enemy’s plans before…you know them now! Additionally, the Lord has promised to always be with you, so do not be discouraged by the enemy’s prowling.
With that said, I challenge you, brave sister of mine, to pick up your sword and FIGHT for our unity. When you catch yourself looking with eyes of comparison, FIGHT to see through lenses of love. When you begin to feel jealous and bitter, FIGHT for a celebration mindset instead. When you’ve isolated yourself for fear of not measuring up, FIGHT for closeness with your sisters. FIGHT for authenticity in your community- to see the real human sides of the filtered lives you compare yourself to. FIGHT to embrace your commonalities and to accept your differences.
FIGHT for our sisterhood. Because the world needs it, your sisters need it, and you need it.
Are you motivated to fight but not sure how to put this into action? No worries, girl. Next week I’ll be sharing some practical strategies to get us through the struggle together. For now, I pray that your heart would be growing in its courage to simply show up for the battle.
With Love & Freedom,
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